It started out as a pretty sunny day yesterday and I thought to myself, “YER NAO WAT BRUUU… TAIM TEW GEEEM” but I didn’t quite say it like that. Probably increase incoherence levels by at least another 37% and there was also a mild to moderate case of facial distortions secondary to wild limb flailing.
Once I finished my killer workout (killer workout because it did cause the death of innocent bystanders due to the ferocity of the iron being lifted) I decided that it was time to go home. It was around this time when the rain started pissing down as if God just came back from intense clubbing with the boys, and it was time for him to dispel the fluid that was ingested after a good night out. I say that as a metaphor but there definitely was a funky smell in the rain. The kind of funk that the Red Hot Chili Peppers used to make in their old albums but that was more of a sound, I’m talking more about a funky smell. But I digress.
The parking lot for the gym is a bit underground, so it was fairly creepy when I got to my car that the water was filling up. I started the car and drove out from underground and I could feel the water splashing against the bottom of my vehicle. I figured this was going to be a fun drive home.
Out in the open, rain and hail pelted against the roof of my car. Not only was there liquid in God’s work, but there was also solid matter. I banged against the roof of my car and I said, “EY BRUU YEW SHUD CHIK DAT SHIEEET OUT”, shieet ironically representing urine in this case.
Now, most of Polding St has flooded now and the urinal rain (from now on urirain) was pelting at such a rate that my windscreen wipers could not wipe my windscreen fast enough to accommodate for the rate at which the urirain (from now on urinal rain) was pelting at my windscreen. If you guys don’t know the significance of this, it means that i have a very poor visual of the road ahead and when I passed my P’s test, I made a subliminal vow to drive properly and safely. I don’t want to upset Mr. RTA.
It got to the point where I had to signal out to the side of the road in the hope that the urinal rain (from now on urirain) will subside. I stayed in that position for probably only 5 minutes as the thought of the rain continuing forever set in and that it was probably a better idea to head home when the sun was out rather than head home when the sun was down, thus creating “darkness”.
There’s was this huge dip in Polding street leading to the mega big round-a-bout. The left lanes of both sides of the road has flooded so cars were restricted to the middle lane. This was because the left lane was kind of flooded so logic would suggest you stay in the middle. The closer I got to the round-a-bout, the deeper the water got and I actually got a big frightened by the thought of the wheels not even touching the ground anymore and being lifted up by the water. If that were to happen, the steering wheel, accelerator, and brakes would deem useless and my car will turn into BOAT MODE. I did not opt for the addition of a rudder, oars or “knots speedometer” on my Honda Civic GL 1993 white sedan.
Contrary to my shitting of bricks, the cars coming in the opposite direction were loving the thrill of the situation. Bros driving in lowered cars, with other bros in the backseat were gleaming with smiles as they trekked through the deep waters. Even a girl thought she was ripping shit up as her car waded through the waters. This is why I named the title of this post “context”, because depending on the situation and your own self-concept, you will interpret the situation differently. Sweet camel balls!
I don’t have any pictures to document the actual experience as I do not use my phone and drive at the same time, especially in cases where I am actively, and profusely, shitting bricks.